A friend asks you to go somewhere with them. (i.e. movies, dinner, etc.) Your response is, "I have to ask my spouse, I will let you know."
Now, you know that you do not have current plans together to do anything and your spouse hasn't informed you of any they have and he/she is available to watch the children; if there are any.
Question: Do you ask for permission from your spouse to go and do something when there is nothing else going on and all conditions will still be met when you go and do?
The way I feel: I do not agree with having to ask permission to do anything if there is nothing currently scheduled between Jennifer and I or I have other obligations that I have committed to. I do however think one should inform the other person that, "Since we have nothing already planned, I am going to go out to dinner, movie, etc. with so and so."
What is your take on this? Please comment!
5 comments:
You should always check with your spouse first, no matter what. There may have been plans made that you don't know about, a surprise, or something has come up all of a sudden.
Especially if it's the same day kind of deal. If the event is a week or a few days away, you can just say, "On _____ day, I'd like to go to _____ with _____, OK? Was there something you needed me for that day, honey?"
Both of us "ask permission" in our household. It all started because Alex tends to forget prior plans and; therefore, commits to two things in one evening and has to let someone down that he has previously committed to...since then he "asks permission" (we don't call it that..we call it "checking his calendar" aka: Valerie) and since he does that for me...then I give him the same respect and do it for him. However, this has never been an issue with us since we had double committed a few times. It seems like a safe thing to do for our family so that we do not have hurt feelings...again, it is not "asking permission" for us...simply "checking the calendar" aka "the other spouse" just in case we have forgotten something...what is your take on this?
Checking with your spouse is one thing but asking permission is another. I mean, if you had absolutely NOTHING going on and could go and do, would you first have to ask your spouse for permission and if they said no, you said okay; like they were your parent or something! I have seen this happen and was floored! It made me want to slap both of them!
And the only reason they said no was just because they didn't want you to go or maybe they are control freaks?!
Well its not like we're asking permission in the sense you're thinking... its just every decision is always made together. i'm not going to TELL my hubby that I'm going out. If he didn't want me to go for whatever reason I wouldn't... not that that would happen either. I guess for us its more about respect/consideration. I don't want to leave my husband home alone with the kids all the time while I lived my life... its togetherness so now I do things that include my husband... with exceptions b/c we all need our "me" time.
Post a Comment